And the sun is shining in this sky so blue, but if I only could have that one thing that I, well I don't know, but if I could find it my life would be complete. In a moment I will have satisfyed my every desire. Even the ones I can't express.

I wonder when they will return, them, you know who. I just can't imagine it being long they were a part of me. Still a part I suppose , but with so many peeces it's hard to make a picture, it's hard to find a way.

Maybe that is what I am looking for, a way... That still leaves me no where because I still don't know what the way is to. If I did maybe I would'nt go, actually I am sure I wouldn't because anything away from here is strange and new. I don't like new not very much. The kind of new that comes along is never the kind I want anyhow.

This has turned out to be a good day for rambling, so if you need to let it all out and not even think for a second, or backspace five times in a sentence fearing that you said it wrong, what ever it was you were trying to say, than just start writing.

DON'T THINK!!!

I know that is what screwed my writing. I keep trying to think every thing out before I write it that is an aweful thing to do. I have not been able to write a song in a long time, and now I know I just need to stop this thinking. I can name a few people who are going to laugh at this, oh well. I don't mind it is pretty silly anyhow.

I took the ACT right before I left to come here. The funny thing is is that I thought I was just taking a little test for blue ridge placement... Untill I sat down and in huge blue letters was written...

ACT

well I am gonna go now, and I will tell you I miss you because I truly do.

-J

Think i broke the wings off that little song bird
Never gonna fly to the top of the world right now...

god i cried.. a lot. I dont understand things like this. i know im supposed to believe that everything has a reason- but what the hell?
its always the day after i proclaim how wonderful im doing again that stuff like this happens.

"i feel like everytime i put my whole heart into something
and trust that it will live.. it dies."

most of you would laugh at me and call me a silly girl for what i cried over.
but then You wouldnt.
This beuatiful life has kept a smile on my face through the past few weeks... really hard weeks. I just dont understand- and thats really a problem right now.

This is nothing... im not even telling you what is going on- im venting and ranting and raving to you about something not even metioned in these lines.
Sure lets talk about fair..
I have to go. Sorry- im just really un-happy today.

*dixie chicks
~jenn

Maybe I need some inspiration before I write this...

I don't know about you, but for me in recent days inspiring things have been awfully hard to find.

And if I do succeed in this daunting search, and actually find the object that suddenly sparks some thing in my heart.

Some thing that begs for explanation, definition, or even recognition at the least, then suddenly, POOF it is gone.

Then I am left with this awful feeling of failure. I failed to capture it, that moment in time.

It was so close to being safe, until I jumped head first to catch it and fell empty handed on the floor, the dreadful floor.

However disappointing it is I must say that is all I have in me to write tonight. I have been avoiding these black keys. I know they can pull the truth out of me. The deepest truths. That scares me in times like these. I don't want you to know I am hurting, and doubting things I know I "should" know, but right now some things seem so fake, so unreal I can't explain it.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!!!

My heart just breaks to think of you there

In dark cold regret

residing with out a care

mostly with out a care for me

hard to let it slip

my life is

no I couldn't tell you that

simply let it be

with out a care

mostly with out a care for me

worry for your sake

but it won't

no it won't do any good

pity my existence

and I'll run away

don't you see you can't help

no you can't

-JRL

I don't want to cling to vanishing things

But it's hard to let you go~

Same sweet smile

You stay for awhile

But summers come and go

I know...

Im tired...

Jenn~