Hello....

Hey!!!!

Then I told her everything.

The college

the youth

the pain

the tree

the roof

and I still forgot something, I gave McKenna a kiss for her.

Now I must go clean because it is almost Christmas, and when Christmas comes our house will be full of people. For some reason mom wants it to look nice. *smile*

-Jonlyn L.

Hey yall!

I am at Covenant College, and I am really enjoying it. The people here are wonderfully nice.

I met the music teacher, as well as the French teacher today. Both were fun to talk with. I found out that my lack of music theory will not be a problem! Oh it is such a relief. If I can test out of French 1 and 2 I will be in the intermediate class! I am hoping to do that.

Ok my friends and Jenn I must go. I am using the computer of a very nice girl and if I come here would like to get to know her.

Wonder if that will happen. Goodnight all.

-Jonlyn L.

I'ts over! I have taken the SAT my life can go on.

-Jonlyn L.

tears over the SAT. I am sure it is not worth my tears, and yet they keep falling.

-Jonlyn L

one hundred pieces of her heart.

given freely, openly, joyfully, and faithfully.

you want me to throw it back in her face?

with out a second thought of what it will do to her heart?

act like you think it's no big deal, but I can see that your hurting.

how could you think that your blood wasn't showing.

your white dress is contrasting with pain that is seeping through.

i am getting tired of this.

i need my father to stop my anger it is welling up inside, and i have plenty of ways to justify my actions.

posted by -Jonlyn L. late at night with out much thought. just some words i strung together.

MER!
(michael k.)

The Castle Turrets Towered High
Like A Diamond In The Sky...

Those words have kept me smiling all week... I have realized that i havent been smiling as much as usual lately
so thank you to my dear freinds with the green pen.
It is amazing to me how certain things in my life effect the entirety of my life. These are big things though...
I try to minimize my feelings about them because the way i feel is not a safe... It is a very vulnerable place.
Even more so not knowing what others feel about what i feel... it is not true that i am amazed by this.. I am just trying to stay on the safe side by saying that- i knew how much this would bother me when it happened..
hmm i am making no sense- i am quite sure.
I will stop. (wow- even that was done out of fear.. fear that i will show too much and you will figure me out- weakness and all.and God forbid that should ever happen!)

Tonight is my last night of class for awhile.. i cannot tell you how happy this makes me! I am not looking so forward to telling Sarah that she can't smoke in my car anymore... anyways... I am all alone for another weekend.. I like this very much! I must go - see you all on Sunday.
Jenn

I can't believe that it was two years ago Sunday.
Two years ago that my Aunt died. She was a beautiful person... Her son had us each come back to the bedroom one at a time so that he could give us something of hers. (myself and my sisters)
We all got one of her scarfs. I remember her wearing the one they gave me... It even still smells a little bit like her. But its interesting.... The smell of the smoke that killed her is gone.

We got back to the church on Sunday night... And there was the van. With wonderful green letters on it.. Now everytime I walk to the car I get a huge smile on my face... Which is much needed because Im usually going to or from school or work... Thanks guys. Speaking of- I have to get to class.... Enjoy this Tuesday night-
See you tomorrow~ *sigh of relief*
Jenn

If only I had a steering wheel.
Then my life would be complete. Jonnie~

Don't talk to me like that! How come you have the ability to make me feel like a silly little girl? Oh I wish you didn't. In fact I wish I had some sardonic remark that would stop you right in your tracks, and make you wonder if I was really talking to you. I shouldn't let it eat me up like this. Jonlyn, stop thinking about it!

So it happened. She looked at me and said "I am sorry, Jonlyn."
Me: "sorry, what for?"
Her: " I am sorry I didn't get you a tutor sooner. I am sorry that I didn't have the ability to teach it to you."

So I just sat there. I was wondering why her apology made me feel bad.
After my pause she continued...

" I am very proud of you. Your working really hard at this and I know you will do well."

I continued in a state of, well, I suppose it was a state of shock. Then I finally replied "thank you"

I never give the right reaction. I mean I never give the reaction that reflects what I am feeling inside. Never is to strong of a word, but it happens to me a lot. I don't like it because I always feel bad for it afterwards.

===================================================================

I have added 28 words to my vocabulary. It is still not enough, but dad was impressed. Yay for me.

I had an encounter with pie today that was interesting. My brain is tired of being crammed with mathematics. It told me that today. Just like my face told me it needed a mask ( the kind for facials. Not the covering up kind *wink*) yesterday.

I am really going to Taiwan!!! I can't believe it. My ticket will be bought very soon. Oh I cant even imagine. Of course I am looking at all of the good things. I don't want yall to know the bad stuff because I just want you to be excited with me for a while. I am going in January I will post the latest info from now until then.

We are leaving to go Sumter Friday morning. I am really looking forward to this trip. I really wanted to be here when the Lands got here though.

PAUSE for a bit of Irish chocolate.......

Ok friends I need to go I have to practice violin... Goodnight I miss you all and I will see you tomorrow!

Jonlyn L.

It was hard to tell what was water and what was that salty mixture that i have grown so comfortable with these days.... Just a shower of wet- I think mostly coming from my eyes.

I didn't get much sleep last night- and im really not in the mood to pour my heart out to this computer screen... I have to go- Jenn

I am tired! I had to cut my nails, they were to long for me to play my violin. Oh the sacrifices. haha. Goodnight friends.

Hmmm.....

I am so tired right now.
I played in a 2 hour concert last night-
went to bed around 1:30
Got up this morning at 5:30
and played in 4 church services today.
BUT.... I had fun. I dont think that will mean a great deal when 6:30 comes in the morning..
No actually it was worth it- some things just are.

I hated that i missed the meeting this morning-
I have missed two very important "meetings" from the sound of it. That wont happen again for awhile though.

Tonight was not a good night for to post.. There is a lot on my mind- but now that im here I dont think i will be able to communicate any of it to you. i have failed miserably so far. I think i will stop.
Today was nice-
Jenn

I'll tell it to be gone!

And I'm sure it will leave.

I suppose that's the problem with all of this talk,

of knowing what to say and when to say it.

I always end up wrong I always leave you crying.

I'm tired of it now.

I think I've had my share.

Could you let me rest awhile?

Just a little while.

I keep tripping over my own feet.

I keep biting my own tongue trying not to speak.

I keep calling out your name, screaming for your mercy

and my cries just echo through these dimly lit streets.

My vision is blocked I can't see you anymore.

Now fear is dwelling in my tears, they fall with hesitation

because I was told you were good and your plan was the best.

But the evidence is yet to come.

My heart is doubtful I refuse to believe.

I only saw hurt.

I only saw evil plots of death.

Show me the goodness they speak, the beauty they see.

Could you let me rest awhile, just a little while?

I keep tripping over my own feet.

biting my own tongue trying not to speak.

I keep calling out your name.

Screaming for your mercy.

My cries just echo through these dimly lit streets.

-Jonlyn L.

I am 18 now....

Just wanted you to know.

I miss yall, yes I miss you very much.

Goodnight my friends. Call me on Dads cell if you like.

Nashville, TN. is one hour behind NC so you can even call when it is to late to call. *SMILE*

Sleep well...

~Jonlyn L.

P.S. I practiced violin for 2 hours today.
Now my wrist hurts(the left one), but Concerto in A minor is sounding
much better. Suppose it is all worth a little pain in the end.

ULTIMATE...

It has been to long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenn and I were talking as we drove home last night. You may wonder what it was we were talking about,but even you aren't I will still tell you because that is the point of this post.

It was ULTIMATE FRISBEE! Uhmm how stinkin long has it been? I don't even know. At least 2 months, I am sure more though. Sense I have played that is. So we were talking about my birthday as well, and what I would like to do. We succeeded in figuring that question out.

I, Jonlyn Linville, want to play ultimate Frisbee and then go watch a movie or some thing. The only thing is... I don't know were to have the event. If you have any ideas of where a good place would be let me know. Our guest book is now working.

I have to go get ready. I need to take mom and JT to town.

I have a birthday wish... Actually I have two, but only one that is even semi possible. That is that she would be there, that certain person who looks so lovely in red and has the brightest brown eyes a human is capable of having. Do you know of whom I speak? I will give you one more clue. SHE IS THE EPITOME OF AN ULTIMATE FRISBEE PLAYER. The best, and most definitely the most competitive... You should know by now. If you don't you can ask me,Bill, Ian, Jenn, and probably anyone who has been in the youth for at least 6 months.

Of course my other wish is for that darling Irish chick to be here! And in her memory I will sing this song.., Well I ain't never been the barby doll type. No I can't swig that sweet Champaign I'd rather... That's all for now

-Jonlyn L.

I talked to her!!!

What a plesure it was. Yes it made me miss her more, but I don't care. It was worth every word,every bit of those thirty seven minutes.

I wouldn't trade it for anything, unless of course it was thirty minutes of talking to my dear sweet Emily face to face. That would rock!

I miss you beautiful girl. I love you very much and pray for you often, and think of you even more than that. It was more than wonderful to hear your voice today. I truly mean that.

Goodnight all. Emily say hello to Abby, and tell her I was glad she answered. tell Giz hello for me and your parents hey and miss all of you so very much.

-Jonlyn L.

I knelt down and scraped through the broken peaces. I was trying to find the time we said we'd always keep in touch. I tried to remember how it felt to be so sure. How offensive the thought of not knowing you was. Now I have found it, and it hurts like nothing I could ever describe. I remember and the only thing that is killing my memory is wondering if you found it too. Do you remember that night?

It is all to clear to me now... Please tell me you've found it too.

-Jonlyn

His eyes were so bright... Wonder if I will ever see them again?

How can I speak in the silence of an insecure people, in my insecurity?
I don't have the answer. I don't have any answers. I am in the dark and yes I am pissed(in the American sense that is,Emily * wink) thanks for asking. That could be among the few questions I actually do have an answer for.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was so inexplicably beautiful. Every thing about her was screaming elegance, rather every thing about her was elegance. The very definition it's self.

"some day when I'm awfully low I will feel a glow just thinking of you... And the way you look tonight."

I have never loved listening to any one more than her singing. It caught my heart and held it in it's hands for a few hours. Funny how music is such a comfort to me. My only sanity in the day.

Heather: "Jonlyn, are you ok?"

Marissa:" you seem distant and your not partaking in the conversation"

I just smile and then, from the one who knows me best these words came.

Jennifer: " She is fine. She is just listening to the music."

Smiling again, with the comfort that she knows me just the way I am. I turned my gaze back to that elegant figure behind the baby grand. Continued to enjoy the beautiful notes flowing from it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every one was gone. I slipped out for a walk to the field. Picking up an acorn along the way. I fell asleep under the sun. Some how I felt His arms around me today as the sun shone, and I knew He still cared, I am still His daughter, He still loves me, He knows what I need, and when I need it.

That was the first time in a long time I felt Him holding me close. Hugging me a dead lifeless thing. Cold and scornful, dirty and ragged.

BROKEN...

-Jonlyn

I feel...
Tired...
Lonely...
Afraid...
Apethetic...
Phlegmatic..?

I was told it would be hard...
Now I understand what that meant...

-Jonlyn

I walked out of the room, Shut the door behind me and knew that my mom would sleep well through the night- and most likely come home tomorrow.
As soon as the door shut I heard crying. Looked up and about a foot away from me was a small group of family and friends that did not share that same peaceful feeling. The two women were holding each other- One of them seamed to have just found out. There was an older couple leaning against the wall- both with tears in their eyes.
I pulled John Thomas towards me and we walked by-
People are in pain... Everywhere you turn in this place.
and after the past few days... I feel sick to my stomach about it. Sick and Grateful.

No chilling winds or poisonous breath
Can reach that healthful shore
Sickness sorrow pain and death
Are felt and feared no more.

Jenn

The day continues in its mundane fashion.

I am mad at my email account. I wanted to write her and it had no right to stop me! I miss her so much I can't even say. Oh why is it so hard?

I have no words to say to you. I feel so empty, so lost, and so tired.

What do you do when you can't go on.
Where do you go when your sunshines gone.
What do you do when the rain pours down.
Where do you go when your dreams fall down?

I hope you are well. I am going to see mom later today. The surgery went well. She could be in the hospital up to Wednesday it all depends.

"The older I get the more stupid I am about life. I know name, thats about it."
-Joshua (not our cousin)

This post is for... is in honor of... is a tribute to... YOU!
For you our dear Rachel-

The thing is we have nothing to say. All the words inside have slowly slipped into nothingness. A figment of Jenns imagination I am just BSing... love you furf
slight sardonic expression from the corners of your eyes. Confussion enters in and I am overwhelmed. Laughing crying scream singing. Your wondering now if sanity remains and all I know is you are near and i can feal you by my side.

Ok... so all of everything before and after the "this post is for you" and all that... was not for you. Jonlyn decided to take a trip down loo loo lane- and now we're back!
So what we want to say to you is this-

When your down and troubled
And you need some love and care
and nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door.

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running ,
To see you again
Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall
All you gotta do is call
And I'll be there, yest I will-
You've got a friend.

We love you Rachel!!!
Jenn & Jonnie

Simple
is
true...
I
love
you~

Jenn

If I were a painter I would paint your memory. Climb inside the swirlin sky's to be with you.

oh the thought of coming home, it has entered my mind. It will be reality, as I step on that plane at 10 am tomorrow morning.
The fact that I will be leaving to see so many people I love and truly miss with all my heart will cause so much joy to be alive in my soul. The truth that I will be scared out of my mind of flying with out a friend. Navigating my way through a seemingly never ending airport. Perhaps I will get lost. At this point I would find a bathroom and cry. Then I would realize stupid me, just ask that person over there wearing that vest that says, ask for my assistance. I don't really know if those exist in airports, but they do have a desk with a person standing behind it. I am sure they will know.
The overwhelming sadness that ,yes I am leaving one of my dearest friends. Yes I am afraid, sad, happy, and so many other things. I know God holds her in his hand. Yes I know this, but why the hell does he have to hold her in his hands in Ireland instead of NorthCarolina?
I will cry as I am now because I know what she is dealing with is a million times harder than what I am dealing with, I know the only thing I can do is pray, and I don't like that knowledge.

I am going to go now. Now that I have got myself all down and out about this. I am looking so forward to seeing all of your lovely faces and hugging you harder than ever! I miss you!
I will see many of you tomorrow. I hope.

With Love - Jonnie

From Dublin Ireland the last. Please pray for me tomorrow as I begin my journey home, and have to say goodbye to Ireland and my sweet Emily.

And I'm gone to Carolina in my mind......

I was thinking of home today. Do you know what made me think of that place?
Sub Way of all things... Yes the sub place. A familiar smell I suppose. There is one other smell that always makes me feel as if I am sitting in my yard in Moms garden. Butter fly bush. They have it here, but it is more like a tree. They grow gigantic sizes.

Mrs. Cindy and I walked all over Dublin today, I am sure I lost five pounds. This is good because in all I have probably gained 15 ; ) Anyhow what I was going to talk about is this. I like Dublin yes, but I hate it too. The things I love about it are, unusual. That man who stands on the side of the street atop a platform holding a feather, while painted gold. He looks so freaky, but I would stand and stare at him forever if left to decide. Fortunately I have always been rushed along by my friends.
I love the flower stand, and the brick streets.
Those are the things I like, and now that I think about it there is really only one thing I cant stand. This is low to yall, so if you were expecting some insprationall though or anything like that, just pull your self out of that mind set now.

Ok so I hate Dublins sense of fashion!!!! Only because I cant afford it. It is the best in the world and I would totally wear this stuff, but its freaking impossible. I have found my weakness... Shoes, not any shoes, but European shoes. I love them! I have forced myself to not even look into the windows of the shops. Ok enough of that. I will have a beautiful post for you when I get home, but now I lack anything of that nature. Truly sorry. Perhaps nt, but you get the point.

Jennifer my beloved sister,
Do not be dismayed all will work out. I know I am speaking in the dark, but I know it is true our savior will guide you through these otherwise impossible times. I am praying for and it hurts my spirit to know you are in a time of need, and I am unable to be there. Please do not fret my dearest friend. You are so beautiful to my heart and I miss you deeply.

I lift mine eyes up unto the mountains where does my help come from?

My help comes from you maker of heaven creator of the earth.

Oh how I need you Lord you are my only hope you are my only prayer.

So I will wait for you to come and make me whole....


Three more days my turtle dove!!!@!!!!!!

Forever and always your Jonnie....

P.S. unchecked. frome Dublin Ireland!

In the morning when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything- is gonna be alright.

I heard this song on the radio on the way home. I was thinking about how the last time i had heard it everything was alright.... I was cruising a long in my grandfathers boat... in the beautiful waters of Destin Florida.
my dad jonlyn and i singing it at the top of our lungs...

I need someone to tell me it will all be alright.

Jenn

(Jonlyn i miss you so much!)

HELLO! We are in the Hylton's new house! It is lovely, I must say.

There is a quite little garden out back, and it is beautiful, as all Irish gardens are. I find their abillity to garden amazing, no no astonnishing.

My dear Emily is away to school now. I am very proude of her. She is so strong, but she isn't to strong to addmit the hard stuff.

Yesturday she and I had an adventure (propper wording)

It all start when we made a run into donlairghy oh bother I have no Idea how to spell it. It is pronounced dunleary. Anyhow we had a mission. Art supplyes and book. Ok not to hard

We arrive. Art suplyes? Check . Book uhm I dont remember the name.
So we wlak back to the house no book find out the name of the book walk back to the store.
To be continued.

Oh and I am not aloude to go into guest books so jenn dont write me in there ok. Email is good.

I miss you all. KISS!!@!@

From Dublin, Ireland. Jonnie
P.S. marissa I found your future Husband.

Testing Testing. ONE TWO THREE....

HH HHMM(clearing throat)

Hello from Dublin, Ireland!!!!!

All is well I miss you I love I cant wait to get home and tell you all about it!

My flight arrives at 9:45 7th of September BE THERE!!!! Anyone who can ok?

I must go tea time!

-Jonnie

I WANT MY SISTER TO COME HOME!!!!!

Coming to you from West Asheville branch Library-
I am waiting for 12:30 to come around.

Driving down 26 full of hope and courage... They both came from God- I realize that. But He chose the most amazing person to give it to me.
We will never find anyone better. No one can or will take the place of this man.
So much change in the days to come. I hate change... So much of has alreadly happened. I pity myself for a moment then snap out of it. Then I go back there and I am in need of rescue all over again.

For those of you who haven't heard- Jonlyn is in Ireland. She got there fine. I can breath a little better now.

Its so strange how feelings come and go.

I am meeting Heather at Biltmore this afternoon.. Then I have to figure out what Im doing from there. Things will be better then. I will at least have one more thing to check of the list of doubt and worry. (God help me to give you that list)
I am going now- Hope your day is peaceful.
Jenn

Well.. I thought I had things to say-
I was going to explain some of the details of my life~
But I guess im not ready to go there yet.
I hope all is well with you all.
Jenn

one fish
two fish
red fish
blue fish-

The days ahead will be very trying. of that I am sure...

Jonlyn is in the shower- We have been getting ready to leave Atlanta so she can catch her flight to Ireland. I will miss her so much! No doubt in my mind..

He is coming for me on a morning
that will shine like its never shown
and there's no doubt in my mind
He'll get here right on time. (words from one of my dads songs)

I love those songs. ok i need to go. we were leaving at 8:00 this morning- needless to say we are late. i get it honest! Pray for my Jonlyn as she soars through the air today.

Jenn~

I love the way my yahoo account is always so happy to see me. It almost makes up for the times when I get bummed because there is that big zero flaunting across the screen.

Leaving in five,four,three,two...
Ireland is so close to being under my feet I can't even believe it!

She called today! I was surprised, as if I thought it was an impossibility (a word?) to phone from Ireland to America. Silly me. Now I know it isn't.

Getting nervous? hmmm YES I am, infact really nervous. Not about traveling, or anything like that. I am nervous because I don't have my puppet parts totally and completely memorized. I am working on it though.

I heard a song today, so funny how a song can fit a situation so well. I could only laugh when I heard it. It made me see how comical the whole situation was.

A little spending cash? Sure you could call it that, but only if you want to ignore the fact that you just handed me ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Blinking about three times I finally stand and thank her. Why didn't I scream it, and jump up and down, eyes wide open, and about to burst.
I don't know maybe that means I am confusing emotions. Maybe I have lost my joy. Maybe I am just tired. I don't know what ever the problem is I want it fixed! Can you hear me God?

Perhaps I will try Rachels solution "life's elixer" She is a very smart girl after all : )

leprechaun in the park? How crazy Asheville is. I go through culture shock every time I am there. I am beginning to think I'm a sheltered home school geek. I suppose there are worse things I could be, but not really.

I have so much to do before tomorrow afternoon. I am trying not to let it consume me and at the same time I need to be aware of it. I need a happy medium.

I am going now. Of things I want to happen before I leave I have one request, I want to watch Peter Pan. The new one of course. Jenn and I will be leaving soon after I finish this post to rent it.

Oh one more thing, I will return home to North Carolina on the 7'th of September at 9:45 PM. I will be flying into the Greenville airport if all goes as planed. Anyhow the reason I am telling you this is in hopes that you might be there. It would be lovely to see some of your faces upon my return home. If you want to come contact my family.

~Jonnie

This is some thing I posted a long time ago. I guess about a year. It still pertains to me though. Infact it is exactly how I feel. Except I feel a little numb so numb that I couldn't write anything I had to barrow from my past.

Well my heart is heavy. My thoughts on the surface dare not go deeper for fear if what lies beneath....Maybe sorrow, maybe joy ,Maybe pain, perhaps healing Could it be the secret.This might be the thing that can set me free,But my fear has bound me My eyes refuse to focus There are voices calling my name,But I am to afraid Afraid of finding pain Here it is safe atleast for now. Soon I must escape,Soon I must dive below.Some one tell me when. Some one tell me how....

-Jonlyn

If my life is so full,so random,so wierd then why do I have nothing to say?

-jonnie

Hello...
I am now officially homesick!

I have been talking to a dear friend for a few seconds now- And it hits me how badly I want to be where you are.

Things are going good. Yes I love my life. Yes I love serving God.... And yes I want to finish out the summer the way I am supposed to. And yes I know that "Jesus endured the cross for me so I can handle one more week"

Know that you are missed and that Jonlyn and I love and need you all-
As soon as possible.....
Jenn
I am having a good time... im just tired..

Oh TIRED!!!

Ok I was praying for fire works NOT to Fire works : )

*Guard The Castle*

Awesome game Chip and Kelsey! Funny how I had to pull my self out of it.
Holly get chip this is really!! haha Holly replies to my frantic claim" Jonlyn, I know its, Your bleeding! What a great moment.

* Back Home *
Dad walks in.... Hey Dad! And I begin to tell him the story really enthusiastically like. Jenn" Uhmm Jonly he's not laughing."

Hmmm... yes I see that. He then informed me "Jonlyn, You have to go to the doctor"

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(ME THINKING TO MYSELF OF COURSE)

Out the door I went as tears began to fall to the ground. I didn't want stiches NO!

Oh I don't have time to finish this out I will just tell it to you. Anyhow we got to the hospital and they gave me lidacane of course I don't know and don't care how they spell that horrid word! Being stuck some where around five times and it hurt so freaking bad! Then they got all the gravel out I wolnt give details cause I don't wanna gross you out.

And no it is sore very. But I am ok and the prayer truly helped. It was at that time that I stopped crying for the night. Thank you my dear friends.

-Jonnie

No hot dog bunns?

Destin is out of hot dog bunns ok..

The 4'th of July wow. It has been a year.

One year sence I sat in that overly aircondition buss,
watching Rachel and Bill compete for first place in the game of scrabble,
Jeff was singing that song by Third Day, and I was praying to fire works. If you recall we did see fire works! Brilliantly lighting up the sky's of GA.

There we were standing on the edge of the hotel porch and we popped those popper things.
I remember pizza too. A toilet that didn't work oh and all those things that are not good to post on a blogg. Smile*

Anyhow this year is so different... Once again I am not at home for the 4'th. I do not get to sit on the hill of the westlian church and watch fire works with my family, Or dance in the streets while some band with wack name plays songs that dont really make sence.
As I was thinking about how very much I wanted to be home I realized what I was really wishing couldn't even be possible if I were in Brevard. I am wanting my friends and many of them are gone two particular friends Emily and Rachel. As if I had to tell you.

Missing home and feeling sick about it. I miss yall and I love you very much. We are leaving tomarrow morning!

I hope this was ok I know a spelt a lot of things wrong sorry I am not feeling so well.
Good day my friends. -Jonlyn

Good morning to all-
Today is a good day... Today is the last day of actual bible school- and that makes me very happy! I know that sounds terrible... .But that's the way it is. The kids are great- but its just time.

There are several kids that are so dear!
Jose- you would not believe how cute he is!
I would have to say the best dancer in the church this week....

Kyle- She is only 4- but of course knows everything. I know this because she told me so several times infact- "I know everything!"

Chance- The story teller... The one with the smile that could pull you through anything!

This is not half of what i would like to tell you--- But Alisa is yelling from the bottom of the stairs that it is time to go! So i must- Love and miss you all!
Jenn

Hello dear ones!
This is coming to you from the beautiful Destin FL.
I hope all is well with you!
Today was our first day of VBS.
It was pretty crazy... Jonlyn and I were supposed to be teaching 5-6 year olds. A few of them are that old. Most of them are 4 though- a little hard to hold their attention.. but they are precious!

Other then that not too much is going on around here- which is nice! I am not complaining. My papa has a boat- we went out on Sunday. Im sure there will be many more trips this week!
We will be on the water on the 4th so we will see the fire works from the boat. Im excited about that!
I miss you guys- Talk to you soon I hope!
Jenn

Im home...
I had a very good day on Friday.
I had good moments during Saturday...
Last night was .. Well I cant talk about that.
But Im dealing with what I can. I suck at dealing- can I just say that?

One of these days I will feel it again.
That feeling I had when I was a little girl-
The feeling that everything is right in the world, that dreams come true,
and that I am safe. I have caught a glimpse of that feeling the past couple of months.
Now its being taken from my sight for a little while.
I hope with all my heart it comes back.

Jennifer.

Hmmm..
I have been listening to our CD and there is a song on there (that is now playing) that my Mom and Dad sang together. Just the two of them. The plan was for us to come back and dub in our violins and maybe some vocals or something on top of it... But when we got back to the studio dad told us that danny(recording guy) thinks we should leave it the way it is. I was fine with that.. But my dad went on to say "He thinks you will really appreciate it when your Mom and I are gone." Gone? dead Gone?
I hate that thought.. So I said something stupid and quickly changed the subject.

Death is too real to me still.. it has been a while since someone i really loved has died. But in the past year i have lost many people some to death- but others to extremely different reasons. I guess I am at the point now where im afraid to hope. And that in its self scares me because thats just not the way I am.

One night last week I was feeling so hopeless. I didnt understand what God was doing. Or why He couldn't just make it better. Just fix it..
It was the night I got the news about Alisa. I was the only one home and as soon as I got here I got the phone to check and see if there was any news.. I wanted it to be on the voice mail so badly- But there was nothing.
In a few minutes the phone rang. And I knew who it was. It was my Grandmother- I knew that it wasn't good because she was making small talk and her voice was shaking kept asking if she was ok...and knew of course that she wasn't. And that If the news was good she would have said it much sooner. So she finally said "well I guess you know that we went to court for Alisa today" Yes.. I do and?? what happened Meme? "She is going to Ohio"
And my heart sank. She gave me some details. And we talked about how we just didn't understand. And then she told me to tell mom and be sure and give her a hug.
My parents got home and asked with so much hope in their eyes and voices-Any news?
I hated that moment.

I had to drive up to Ridge Haven that night. It was a very long drive... I had a great talk with God.. Painful.. but very good. I was crying I could hardly see- And after I had told Him everything that I wanted to (several times) He began to give me peace. He was bringing to mind all the blessings that I have... and I was thanking Him for them. He met me right where I needed to be met.. I was still crying and hurting and very confused.. but still the God of the universe met me.
My mind was flooded with people in my life that love me.. And when I was thanking Him for these people my family and one other person I stopped crying. It was really amazing to me. I got to ridge haven put on my happy face for a few people who had no idea what was going on.. then made a few phone calls that I needed to make..And went to sleep.. which was unexpected.
Im not so sure why i told you this.. I just need to talk about it I guess. And I NEED your prayers. My heart is still hurting and my hopes are crushed. If you made it this far thank you for caring enough to read this-
Jenn

BROWN EYED GIRL AND MY EYES FILL UP WITH TEARS

Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?

Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.

I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!

The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.

It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.

Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.

Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.

Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.

-Jonnie

BROWN EYED GIRL AND MY EYES FILL UP WITH TEARS

Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?

Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.

I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!

The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.

It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.

Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.

Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.

Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.

-Jonnie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IAN SANDERS!!!!

(also Ian... we let you win so you could feel good today)

Jenn & Jonnie

Show me the way to go home- Im tired and I wanna go to bed-






It's alright- have a good time- cause its alright-

Hmmm... I hope it happens tonight! I really do~

Gone to ridge haven- to sing stay the night and work in the morning. Talk more later. Jonlyn really wants to go.
Jenn

I wish I could have been there so very much!

Emily I hope your night is awesome!

-Jonnie

To my dear friends,

I havn't posted for awhile things have been busy around the Linville house.

Do you ever get that feeling? You know the one where you are wishing you could be that person,if only for this one moment.
I don't know who it is for you,or perhaps it is never one certain person. You find yourself rewriting those past few mineuts just wishing you could turn the page back, white out that part of your script and then continue on with how it was "SUPPOSED" to happen.

Well I do and today I wanted so badly to be that unselfish person. that person who is all patiently loving you know that kind of person dont you?

Incase you were wondering I did NOT successfuly acomplish this.
AT ALL!

I have to help mom with grocery transpertation.

-Jonnie

It seams like I have been getting so much news lately-
It seams like the good news and the bad news never break even... but for now they are.
So I am able to keep smiling.
But knowing that one more bit of information in either direction could change everything causes a little stress. I can take it a lot longer when things come in equal amounts...

Im not feeling so good. But its nothing a nice shower and some of this warm sunshine can't take care of.

I am going to be keeping Ethan and Jt this Saturday- and Sunday morning. Well Jonlyn will be here some too but im hoping she won't give me too much trouble this time around.

Tonight I have pottery class. I know exactly what I want to make tonight. It is actually exactly what I have to make in order for things to go the way I have planed ( yes Ian, I have a plan) Usually I just sit down at my wheel and whatever the ball of clay ends up as is what I get. Its kind of exciting that way! Of course there are only so many things I can make... so Im never to surprised when I come out with another variation of a cylinder. Anways.. the point is that i have a goal. It will be interesting to see if I can accomplish it.
I hope your enjoying the day- Its time for me to go.
Jenn

------------------------ OLD MEN? -----------------------------


I am totally and completly flipped out!!!!
These old men keep flirting with me I am tired of it.
I am seriouse the next one that does I am just gonna hall out and punch him right smack in the middle of his perverse little face!~

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok now that I got that out I feel better maybe I will not punch them now.

Tonight there was an awesome band in down town Brevard so fun!
My awesome sister took me back out even when she was sick. So sweet.

I have not posted in awhile,just have not felt like it. I still dont,but anyhow I am. so goodnight.

-Jonlyn

Wow... Im having some major withdraws!

Today was good.. I went to Asheville again- im there a lot lately. I picked my sister heather up at work.. She works at the Biltmore. I always feel like "somebody" when i get to go there. I think i will prob. be working there in the fall. I hope.
anyways after that Lin took me out to dinner for my birthday- I love it when that happens! Almost a month later and im still getting treated special for my birthday.

But now i am home. and I am forced to be still. And now more then ever i feel it. Ofcourse it is with me all day and through the night... Soon things will be better. It seams like i am always saying that- "I will be ok" I want to be content- really i do. I just really stink at it. That is something i am working on though.

good night my friends.. near and far-
Jenn

hmm... im just not feeling it- actually Im feeling so many things that i can't seam to start- I will come back soon.
Jenn

TEA TIME

I love tea.For some thing to have that much of a calming effect,Well it's nice.

Tonight I decided to have tea. Not a cup of tea,but have tea you know like a tea time. So I got out my dainty little tea cup,and saucer and the china tea pot. I still have to have it though. I am missing one thing a friend. So the next time I have tea time I will be sure to bring a friend with me.

I think I will have this tea time in my room on my nice vacumed 5' by 3' carpet, yes that would be just right. While listening to My Fair Lady. Wow this is coming together very nicely.On a rainy night such as this oh how it makes me smile.

Good night -Jonnie

Home again....


We were home for about an hour before we ran out the door to start on our CD.... I think i like it. of course i am very critical of my self. But.. i guess thats to be expected.
I am playing all of my instruments.. which is exciting. I dont get to do that too often- and i love playing all of them so that makes me happy! Jonlyn sounds wonderful... Dad and mom sound great together. ... I think it will be good- I am tired and we are going back tonight. I wish i could see you tonight! So much.. but this is a good thing.. thats what i keep telling myself~

Plan for the day--- Shower-work on the house-play for some people in this nursing home place- come home-practice some more for the CD-Go back to the studio-and then come home and CRASH!!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful day~
Jenn

Wow...
there is so much that SHOULD make me feel.. I have a long way to go! This morning when I woke up I was smiling again. I hit play and decided to just be there for awhile in my happiness.
Honestly there is still a lot there that is so heavy on my heart. But in those few moments when im trusting Him.. there comes peace.
There are also the times (this morning was one of them) when He sends me someone in my thoughts. Someone who makes me laugh. The person who encourages me. And with these things-- (when i realize what is going on)- also comes an extreme sense of thankfulness. and i know that this thankful heart of mine this morning is not near enough what you deserve.

It is raining beautiful rain ... Go dance in it!~
Jennifer

I didn't want to post about this.
I wanted to write you,but you have enough stuff to deal with.

So I am not going to post,or write I will just be silent for tonight.

Nothins true and nothins right.
Just let me be alone tonight.
-crow

*Jonnie
I have the phone up stairs
it's 12 its late,but if you'd like to call.
I would like to talk.

Crashing...


HOW FAR DOWN WILL I HAVE TO GO BEFORE I START COMING UP?
It's hit me... and hit me hard. Im so tired. I don't know if I can take something like this again. My mind is spinning out of control.. everything is out of my control.
that IS one thing I know.
I see that more now then i ever have-
Why do i do this everytime? Why can't i start off right instead of banging my head against the wall- over and over until i have this terrible headache.. Im not sure why im here. I can't sleep i know that- but i can't do a lot of things now. Please Please say its not true.. please let me wake up from this. Let me start over.. Let my sweet sweet baby boy be ok.
I saw him today... his eyes as bright as ever. they were still a little wet from the tears he had been crying. I leaned in the car to give him a kiss " goodbye bright-eyes...". He kept holding his juice up to share with me.. and giving me those precious smiles. I kissed my sister and gave Jacob and Andrew "Eskimo kisses" (Thats our newest thing...) And then watched as they drove away. The next time I hear from them I will know one way or the other. That news will come tomorrow... The wait is killing me... on the other hand i could almost wait forever for that--- My heart will pound every time the phone rings and i will hear nothing but what my mom says when she answers. I will know right away if it is Beth or not... and depending on that my heart will either refuse to beat (while my lungs refuse to take in any air) or go back to this dull anticipating ache that I have been feeling ever since we got the news.
Im sorry... sorry that Im not good at this. Sorry that I don't do or say the right things at the right times. I know that that is not even what you want me to say now... but its all I can say.
Im sorry that to a lot of you this may not make sense.
And im thankful... so very very thankful for you. And for your patience and care for me and my life.
I thank God for you~

Tomorrow will determine a lot for me... even though i know i should rest my soul in you tonight. I want that. Help me Jesus.
Jennifer-

I hate bulk mail TOTALLY and COMPLETLY!!!!

Just wanted you to know SMILE*100%

..........................................................

So....
I am back to school. MATH MATH MATH!
I feel wierd posting on here now everything is different whats up with that?

Anyhow it is a lovely day out and I feel like crying.
I dont know why its just that way. Of course I will not,but thats not really my point at all.Just the fact that I feel like crying is making me mad.

I broke down while praying yesturday. Many of you know that. Thank yall for holding my hand and comforting me.God was there and showd him self through yall.

Yes I am dreding that incounter,I mean who wouldn't?Honestly I want to hide away, oh how easy it would be.Then I wouldn't see you my beloved friends so I am quite sure of my conclussion to continue on in my daily events.If I didnt I would be giving them controle of my life and it AIN'T gonna happen!!!!!

I am doing prettty well all things considered. I hope I get to go to cool beans today with Jenn,then we would see Bill.That would make me happy.Infact to see any of you would make me happy so if you have the notion to come and do something with Jenn and I then call us and fallow up on that ok.

Wow I am really rambling I apologize,but I do not stop. Because the thing is you can stop and then it would be all very conveniant for me.Seeing that I am stallin untill 12 when my dear sister will arrive to rescue me from the abiss of salitude.

So if you are reading this with patience and waiting for it to get better,STOP!!!! I think it will not happen. Unless of course I'm some how profoundly inlighted by the library boy here,witch I am not,but if I were I would tell you about his bright blue t-shirt,and the way he is putting away books, or is he looking for them I can not tell for there stands a white post in the way blocking about 1/3 of my view,and of course it is the 1/3 that I need to finish that though,but it will just remain unfinished.

Then I would tell you how every morning when I walk in he smiles and nods,of course I return the favore,but it has never gotten any further, our relationship that is we have never spoken,this is fine with me,we dont leave secret notes haha,this is allso quite excepted by my unwanting hasty hesitation.If this does make sence to you even a ounce bravo my friends.

Then there's Mrs. shook,passing by as I type. Wonder why she does that.I think she is the one with a crush on the library dude.AH HA I have figured it out thats where the bitterness comes from ok it's all so clear to me.She is plainly jealouse. hahaha.

Wow fifteen minuets to go that means I have been typing mindlessly for 25 minuets COOOLOOOLL!!!!

I do believe I will excuse myself. Hope you made it perhaps when I read over this later I will find my hopes being transposed to the other side of the story.

WEll Top of the day to yah's.
-Jonnie

Somethings just not right here.....
Jenn~

*Sigh*... There is no place like it!
Jenn~

Heavy on my Heart...
What a beautiful spirit... And still she sings~

W.V. rain.... I have always liked it.
Something very refreshing and restful about it. Although I don't have my wonderful tin roof to hear it on... Have I told you that story? I have always wanted a tin roof.always. And now I have one! This happened awhile ago now.. but im still very happy about it. The only part of our roof that has tin on it is right outside my window.... I love falling asleep to the sound of the rain falling on it....
But Im not home to enjoy it- im in lovely W.V.
I do like it here... But I already miss my home. I always do when Im away. I miss my dog Belle.. and my porch that has a wonderful swing... complete with screen door that our cat Mia has learned how to open. I miss my garden which desperately needs my attention. It is such a wonderful thing to walk out of that door.. go down to the garden feed my goldfish.. see what new things are popping up out of the ground. See my parents sitting on the swing together~ Look at Jonlyn's garden and wish that mine had as few weeds as hers. After that Belle is usually begging me to come and play with her. So we run around for a bit. by this time Jt has scared me in some way.. With one of his fake bugs or snakes.. Or the occasional live one. I love it there..
I love coming back to it.
I love that moment when we pull in the drive and there is my beautiful yellow farm house- My home- My comfort zone.... And here comes Gentile wagging her tail (or lack there of) with such excitement that her whole body is moving side to side. Followed by Belles jealous howls because Gentile gets us first. Then checking on everything... Seeing the things that have changed- and the things that never do. Its a wonderful wonderful feeling... so many things to love all at once in those first few moments.
hmmm... I so look forward to it after these trips of ours!

Also in those moments and on the drive home.. and my whole trip, I am counting the days to when I will see you!
So wrapped up in all the excitement of coming home- is you right in the middle..
yes.. Saturday will be a most delightful day~
Jenn*

AHHHH!!!! Today was such a blah day..one of those days that just stick with you.. until you scream.. or cry.. Or get to talk and laugh.. Thankfully I got by with the talking and laughing this time
. Its so confusing... How can this be? Why are you doing that... Be nice to him! Your always nice to them. Quit acting like you can't control yourself.. Get it together. Come back.. Be the girl that you always were! The one I used to trust with everything. Where did she go? I won't let you go....

And then there are the two of you.... What would I ever do without you?
Forever grateful!

I had to say goodbye to my girls today... I tried to explain to Tristen.. But I don't think she understood what i was saying. I guess she will on monday when I don't show up.. I hate that! I will see them soon though I hope!

I did get to do something that I really love doing today... Well this was the second best thing about my day... The very best thing I will keep for myself.
We (jt, jonlyn, dad me) went down to the pottery shop and played with clay... So Fun! Im going to start taking a class on it in may.. Im excited! Anyways... Im thinking I will make lots and lots of coffee mugs.. Yes I think thats what I will do!

Im all packed... Which is unusual.. Because its only 11:08 the night before we are leaving on a trip... Im very proud of myself. All though... Im not so sure what i packed. I iwll find out when I get there I guess.

After this Im home for the whole month of may... HOME! I love it here... I love you all! It was so nice Wed. night just sitting around in the grass... singing. Catching the smiles on your faces. Wonderful! Chip and Kelsey.. Its so wonderful to have you back! So nice to be with you!

When you see me again I will be 19.Don't hold it against me!.. I really feel like I just turned 18.. I think because I had my party so late last year..
.. It was a great one. though!

Im tired.. It seams like Im always tired these days though. I will have about a 7 hour drive tomorrow.. I love sleeping in the car. Ok... Thats it for me. Goodnight my friends... Have a wonderful week! I will see you next Sunday. Have fun!
Jenn~

Josh: eww,I hope you didn't hyper extend your leg.I did that once and it hurt really bad.

Me: no, no I am fine I just need to sit here for a moment.

Emily: Are you ok ,can you stand up?

Me: yeah. I am fine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEXT DAY.

doctor: Well it looks like you have hyper extended your knee.
You cant run or play any sports for atleast 7 days. If you do the ligament that's extended could tare. Then you would have to have surgery.

Me: (thinking) BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Among other things,but you get the point.

Josh was right dangit.

Now I am off to W.V. and cant do much oh well.
I get to wear one of those ace bandages : )

This is gonna be hard,not runnig for 7 days?

-Jonnie

Talking To My Self In The mirror?

So it began, I smiled and spun around,glanced back and then began to laugh.
I know it was silly, I felt like a little girl swinging my legs back and forth. I had short hair,crooked smile,no shoes,and I hadn't looked in the mirror for days.

That was a good feeling

I didn't let the reality kill my spirit last night,Don't ever want to let it again either.
NEVER!

It will come yes,but it hasn't yet,so I woln't let my self pull away from them.
I don't think it's in me though actually its not,God please put it there: )

I have to be on my way I have to pack. Going to the DR. today smile* I feel so stupid I don't want to go but I am afraid I will have to go see a W.V. DR. if I don't
My knee keeps coming out of place. I told it to stay in,but no response.

-jonnie

I posted again jenn its your turn :)
-jonnie

They don't get it!

I want to scream,and tell them, your blind!

Can you not see it?

Do you not feel that?

He is gone,and you are just as venerable as he.What makes you the invincible ones?
Why are you so confident?
She is in front of you the one who brought him in. Why should you get to watch her let him leave.

Can you not see it?

Do you not feel that?

You have no right to be here. Get away! You the one who helped it blossom,you the one who fed his treason,you who sold that sh*t,and I who sat back and watched.
His own brother infront of you sits,he left him his secrets the unspoken words he has kept so sacred.

Can you not see it?

Do you not feel that?

Keep on going your life hasn't change. Yes he is gone, yes you love his poison,yes you are infected,and no you don't care.

Can you not see it?

He is dead..............

Do you not feel that.

Your dyeing..............

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was only 17 years old.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Jonlyn @ 11:42 P.M.

Short skirt, white shirt, toe rings,and flip flops... Sun in my face- wind in my hair. Eyes closed, my breath stolen away.. You on my mind.
For a few seconds I forgot I was driving.. muchless that I was driving a mini van!
Such summer bliss packed into those few seconds... It was wonderful! And in my imagination (with my eyes closed) You were there with me. And we had a wonderful time!
Jenn~

PUFFS PLUS RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My rings are safe,thanks Bill.

My throat is soothed( peppermint tea)

Now I'm sleeping,I hope.

Sweet dreams to all who sleep.

-Jonnie*11:07 pm
P.S. thanks god for the cell phone*

I GET TO SEE CHIP AND KELSEY TONIGHT! love you guys... can't wait to hear about the trip and hug your necks! ~ Jenn

Watching it made me want it even more.
I always want it... But this time when it was infront of me I wanted it more then ever.
For now I will hang on to everything that I can. I will cherish every moment.

I grow more and more comfortable with the thought of it every day.
I need it more every day.
I miss it when its not there.
I miss it when it is. and there is only enough time to remember why i miss it somuch.
I am so grateful for it...So very very grateful. Thank you~
Jenn*

Hello all,

It is such a beuatifull day!!!!
I can't believe it,and I really want to go on a hike or a walk.
Maybe I will go pick some flowers. I wish jenn would get home she is more fun than me or atleast I get board of myself.

I did Valls hair for prom.Honestly it was pretty she was beuatifull like a princess.
I think if I could have done it over again I would do better. last year we got together and I did a practice run on her hair anyway it turned out pretty.

I cant say I didn't get a little down,I mean after all I have allways wanted to go to prom. Here I was for the third time helping someone else go. Dont get me wrong I love doing it I love fixing hair and makeup I have even thought of going into that one of these days,but anyway I found myself wishing it was me.

Then Mrs Ronda took me out that night,and I forgot all about it*smile

Gotta go to town with beth and garrett now.

Hope your day ROCKS ON FOREVER MORE!!!!
-Jonniep.s.unchecked

Wow....
So many wonderful things have happened lately.. And for that I am thankful!
Im sure I am not as grateful as I should be. I wonder what that would feel like. To feel as grateful as I should. I wonder what it would feel like to do everything the way I should. Or to the fullest.. Maybe not the way I am supposed to.

I love "country" people.. I have been around a lot of them the past two days... They are so neat. They are very content with life- Almost always have a story to tell- They may not like you.. But if they don't you know it right away- None of this fake stuff. Hard working- Know how to have a great time- Love music and usually play it whether they are any good or not. Would die for their family.. Incredible people!
Finding joy in the small things...

Ok... Looks like I won't be going to massage school this fall.. More like the spring. I am kind of disappointed that I can't go sooner.. But this is the best choice so far. I will save quite a bit this way. And I am having to borrow the money from my parents well some of it atleast. And this is their first choice because of the discount.. So I cant really argue about it. But I guess it will be good. So... The plan is go ahead and get set up for school for Feb. 2005. Get through the summer and all the travels. Then get a really good job that pays incredible amounts of money to pay for school.. We will see.. That seams so far away!

I hope you guys had a blast playing four square.... Pretty dangerous sport... Especially when you throw in the loser dance.. Talk about hard core.. Someone is bound to twist a knee or something!

I think Im going to stop now.. Im really in the mood to talk so this could go on for a painfully long time. But It will stop now.
Jenn

Don't you hate it when things come out wrong.....?

There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.

You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.

Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!

The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.

I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.

Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.

So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.

SH*T

Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM

Search for posts containing "SH*T":
[ Wed Apr 14, 07:58:36 PM | Jonlyn Linville | edit ]
Don't you hate it when things come out wrong.....?

There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.

You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.

Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!

The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.

I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.

Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.

So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.

SH*T

Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM

I had a very happy day today...
I found myself saying that I was great instead of.. "pretty good".
It was fun to feel great.. I like it this way~

Now im just waiting.. trying to pass the time..
Goodnight never never land.
Jenn~

WOAH!!!! WOAH!!!

Driving to town with mom hmmm...
Alright sounds fun to me.

First stop the gasstaion,you know the one with the lowest prices on gas.

Pumping 9.50$, 9.90$, 10.00$ Stop.....
Mom fills out the check and I run inside to pay. Glancing to the car on my way in, I notice the lights are on. Pay, the check was approve and back to the car I went.

Hopping in I smile at Mom and say ok where next?
The post office she says.

Seat bealt ,break,turn key,and then it hit me,
The Honda has a week battery I left the lights on,and now I am sitting at the pump with people waiting for me to move.

BLAST!!!!

Then a Queen's auto service truck pulls in. ha what are the odds? He kindly jumped us off with his nifty little battery pack, and we were off to the post office.

apon pulling out of the gas station a brown saburban pulls out from across the street. I did something stupid at this point. I just glanced over at the dudes in it and was sitting in the turning lane when they started waving and saying stuff. I began to turn and then looked back to see what was up and then from the passenger side...
"Jonlyn !!!! what are you doing!!" I look back swurve and barely miss the curb.
Oh I cant believe I did that and with Mom in the car. I began to laugh at myself and the stupidity of my second glance.

After that things actually went smoothly,and Mom still let me drive.
Fun outing I must say.

~Jonnie

Today was really wonderful... I can't stop smiling!
I had all my sisters with me... my nepews, my cousins.... It was really great...
Happy Easter guys.. I hope your day was as great as mine!

Jonlyn is off with our friends... having a good time... that makes me happy. I just got done talking to Ian.. That makes me happy... Theres some really good pie and cheese cake down stairs that makes me happy.. so im doing really good.

To top off the day i think i will go relax...
And then eventually drift off to sleep to music that makes me dream of my trip to mexico.. and all the wonderful things that come with it~ Sweet dreams to you~
Jenn...

It is so wonderful to be home...
I need to let Jonlyn get on here... I just want you to know im so extremely happy to be home! Life is so wonderful right now.. Thank you for that!
Jenn~

CRAP!!!! ~Jonnlie I mean!!! Jonnie : )

Sleepy......

I will make no effort to correct this post because my eyes are drifting away in sleep as I type brain slows its not working....

She is gone SCREAM!!!!! I hate it so stinkin much,but I hope she like it atleast.
Emily I miss you so much.

I miss everyone,but I will see some of you tomarrow if you some to the 8:00 service that is.

Today hmmm... That was interesting,exciteing,and very tireing. A lot of driving,but a lot of fun.

week in VA. was awesome,besides the fact that yall couldn't go it rocked!!!!
Ok so now I am supposed to cut jenns hair wow something requiring a lot of thought Ok I hope it turns out good.
If not though just be nice and say you love her new hair cut. SHH****

And in your eyes yeah ok thats all for now..

Goodnight my friends dont hold this post against me haha night

n Jonlyn no I mean Jonnie totally unchecked!!!

Life is so short... Please treasure your time here.
Getting some extremely sad news
has snapped me back to the reality of that!
Jennifer.

Sleepy.... But can't go to sleep. I have to clean of course! Story of my life~
Today was most wonderful.. Quite simple but so exciting!
Too many thoughts going on at once so that means you get hardly any of them.

We are leaving again on Friday. And so begins the crazy travels of summer. It will be harder this year then ever i think. I know.. But I will learn things, meet wonderful people, and be so very happy to see you when I come back~
Sweet dreams never never land~
Jenn

Wow......

I don't like those conversations.

You know the ones where you have to anylize everything your about to say!

In these cases I end up acting overly excited and blow the whole thing.
A few of you saw me do this on sunday.... I am sure you remember,I sure as heck do.

Thanks for the fluent laughter it was just lovely,infact I can't stop smileing as I recal that momment. I do hope you enjoyed the shade of my face, for you may never see it quite that colore again.

Math is coming along my pride is being broken I actually asked mrs. Shook a question today!!!

Oh and if anyone wants doughnuts be sure not to buy them from a miss Emily Hylton haha (evil laughing inbackground) buy them from me....

Just kiding ......

I must go work again.

Have a lovely day my friends ~Jonnie * SMILE 100%

I can see clearer now the rain is gone....

Last night had a little trouble sleeping.. well lets just say last night i had a little trouble.. ha.. But guess what! Im ok now.. for several reasons.. some that i cant say! BUT.one is that... oh wait thats one of the ones i can't say...
the other is that me
and Jonnie are getting in the hot-tub right now. Yay!!! Ill explain later.. maybe. All you need to know is that the two of us are having a blast!
Jenn

fewy... C'est tres dificile! Je ne compren pas la langue de Francais.....

You see a few months ago that sentence would have flown onto the screen in a matter of seconds,but I am afraid my french is oh whats the word oh I Ow we will just say it's getting worse! I still dont have that sentence right and it bugs the crap out of me cause I dont I have my books here to check it oh well..

Anyhow my point is I need a teacher please pray I can find one : )

I am in the same place with violin so please pray for that ~Jonnie must go help mom see you all ohno its getting to me FLORID i mean Yall soon!!!!!!!

P.S. I still didnt get to check my maiwolnt let me access from here : (

At the momment I am working on a multicolred paper clip bracelet. I am currently on green incase you were wondering.

I have just looked out twindow to find Andrew my 4 year old nephew peeing on a tree in the yard directly in front of five neighbouring households.

I am in my Grandfathers bedroom on the second flour of a Florida house ,on twin lakes LN. I dont really feel like posting,but you have to understand one thing about my papa,and that is he is very OVERLY protactive of his computer.

When I asked him yesturday if I could check my e-mail his response was " well sure I dont see why not com on up and I will get youu set up."
So we come upstairs and he starts the computer and then logs on to the internet then goes to yahoo and then ask for my password and he never did leave me alone in here and I never did get to check my mail !

But he is gone to the curch for aproximately an hour and a half so I had to cease the moment or however that goes.

I am missing you all so much especialy Jenn.

Emily I hope you did a great job today! Jenn said you did ...

I need to go eat and rearange the computer so papa may not notice my being here SMILE.

~Jonnie

IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE... DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
does that apply here? Just incase.. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut.
Jennifer

Hello wonderful people..
I have a new found respect for my mom...
Life is crazy with kids. lol.. Im having a blast though.. really truly. Oh yeah..
ok.. on top of keeping tristen and emma these next couple of weeks. I will have my three nephews Jacob, Andrew, and Garrett.. ages 5, 3, and 1.. Precious precious boys. But im going to go watch a movie or something.. Because their all taking a nap. Yes.. sleeping. This gives me the rare chance to escape to solitude.. I hope you all are wonderful! See you tomorrow.. I cant wait for tomorrow..
Jenn

Location: inbetween flecher park and the church

Time: 5:20'ish

Me: It's been a good day for moist towelets.

Jenn: Yeah.... I think you should post about it.

Me: You think I should?

Jenn: Yeah......... I think you should


Well we set off to play ultimate at flecher park. After about three hours it was time to leave. So I ran up to Jeff explaining our lack of understanding on how to get out of the park back to the highway. Jeff said why dont you just fallow me.

so I got in the car put my stuff in the back and then.......

UUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!! what is that smell ???? Jenn: uhm I dont know I dont smell it.... oh ok now I do.

Me: Oh my goodness it's on my hands

(You see there was no option of me getting out and washing my hands because Jeff was leaveing and I didn't feel like getting lost)



Jenn: Yeah it must be crap or something.

Me: wow thanks Jenn!



( now we are on the highway heading towards the church)


Me:hmmm I wonder if its on my shoes .... (looking on shoes) Nope nothing
It must be on yours jenn....

Jenn:No its not on mine ok (not looking).

Me: AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! AHHHH!!!! I HAVE A PIECE OF SHIT ON MY FOOT!!!!!!!!! EEWWW JENN JENN JENN EWWW PULL OVER!!!!

Jenn: Laughing Laughing laughing .......

( She swirves off into some road I open the door foot out the water over my foot but yuck I am so grossed out )

after about 2 Min. of this insanity I have a brilliant idea...

Me: A HA moist towelet!!!!!

Jenn: oh my goodness

Me: Praise God for moist towelets......

Me: It's been a good day for moist towelets................. Sigh........

~Jonnie

#Smile# Run back to the class room....
~Jonnie

Sweet bliss....

All of the sudden.. the wind picks up... and the three of us turn to face it and smile as big as possible. Tristen begins to laugh.She screams out something all of us were thinking..The wind is in my hair! .. Emma just braces herself.. and I close my eyes and take a deep breath~
After this... we go back to blowing bubbles. and pretending that we can fly... ...

from 8:15 to 12:30 everyday... I get to be a kid again...
Emma 1
Tristen 2
Jenn 18
They teach me so much...
Jenn~

Oh MY GOODNESS!!!!!!

YALL I did it!!! I got a new guest book ha oh thanks God you just made my day!!!
Wow ok well I got the guest book but listen its all the way at the bottom of our site so dont be decieved its there you just have to look.....

And the sunshines rings around your smile,and I'm here laughing like a child theres just one place love can start with the peaces of my heart.....

Oh dude ha I totally forgott where I was every one in here probably thinks I have flown of the loop. I am sitting in the school library @ blue ridge and laughin and like typeing all happy and hyper and bam it hit me they can see you your not alone haha
awesome ok I gottoa go please signe our gloriouse ever so lovely guest book.

Jonnie Smile 100%

Yay!!!! I did it ......

Well I just took out the link that may be the wrong way to do it oh now I just need to get a new guest book..

.......... TUESDAYS .........

They are allways boreing,and I can't figure out why.
I wonder if God just wants me to have a boreing day so I will enjoy the
not boreing days that he gives to me.

Oh well I dont suppose it really matters.
We have people comeing over tonight so that means music and good food!
If anyone ever wants an invitation to come over just let me
know,and I will see that it is given.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LAST NIGHT

Phone rings........

Jonlyn its for you.....

Hello........................

Hey!!!!!!!!

I realized it was going to happen,eventually,but I am still trying not to think about it.
Thats not working.

I know you can't
understand what I am talking about,but it helps me to write it out. please excuse my uncomprehendable emotional jabber....

Well back to work I go studdy studdy.....

~Jonni

I continue to delet my guest book and it continues to remain!!!
I need help so if anyone can help me get rid of it please do.

I am at school once again and math is actually getting easier yay!
I have three more chapters and then the pretest,and I will be done finally oh never mind I do have to eventually take the reall one so after that I will be done.Please pray for me about this.

Do not go to my guest gook I mean OUR guest book because it sucks!

I am planning on going to Norther Ireland in august the 20'th through the 29'th!! even better I think Mom,Dad, and Jenn are going ,so fun. Plus the Hyltons should be there by then oh wouldn't it be lovely.......

Oh so lovely sittin abso- bloomin- lutely still I would never budge till spring crept over the window seel..... Some one 'ead restin on my knee warm and cozy as 'ee could be who takes good care of me ... Oh wouldn't it be Lovely....Lovely...Lovely.

Thats a wonderfull movie....

Well I think I will go now....

~Jonni

P.S.unchecked....

today should be wonderful... I have decided!
Jenn

Im getting ready to head to Ashville.. and I don't even have Ian to follow.. This will be interesting!
Im going to a concert with my aunt. I really wanted to go to the soccer game. But this should be good! You all have my complete confidence.. Im sure you will win! The last time I talked to Jonnie she told me to tell all of you that she loves you and misses you. So feel loved and missed!
I need to go get ready for this fancy deal tonight.. I hope the game goes great!
see you tomorrow night! Oh... good news... Jonlyns fish is doing great :)
Jenn

Im really cold... its pretty cold in my house... Im going to go put on some MORE layers... I hope you are all enjoying this white stuff thats showing up all over the place..
Have fun! Jenn

Rainy day ......

I have finished school and I walk outside. Much to my surprise my ride has arrived,further more my ride has arrived on time!

I run out to the car leaving any hope of dryness behind me.This time heather had been sent to the rescue.Inside the car I went clearing the make up from under my eyes and evenesence was playing.This was a lovely welcomeing.

Then we were off to wal-mart to pick up the rest of my pictures of Slovakia.After a bit of encouragement on my part I finally recieve a refund for the messed up pictures.

Heather: Jonnie what are you wearing to the concert tonight.

Me: I dont know I will decide when I get home.

Heather: your going home before tonight

Me:Well yeah arent you takeing me home?

Heather: No I am takeing you to the church

Yes it was a lovely way of saying your going to the concert in your pajamas!!!!!
So if you wonder why I am in sleep attier to the most exciteing event of the month there you go.
It is lovely though I get to help Chip and Kelsey!! fun fun.
See yah soon ~Jonnie

Shift into 5'th swirve into the left lane my mind is spinning...

What is she doing?

Why am here oh crap.

Take a breath clear your thoughts.

What if your thoughts woln't clear? They dont care they just want you to speak. So darnit you better open your mouth and start.....

Well... thank you God for the word well. I would have never gotten started.

I finish and the question uhhhh that horrific question.I knew it was comeing,but I didnt know it would stump me that bad.

So what did you learn....

My mouth just stoped, and my mind flooded with question.

Did he not hear all I just said?
What am I supposed to say now?
I dont know but I have to go eat lunch with Dad.....

~Jonlyn

Well I am so mad at my guestbook it will not let me delete posts!!! it says there are no post in my guest book but there are!

Ok I finished school 30 min. early today so I am gonna go try and get dad to get me now.
Oh and me and Dad are going out to lunch today it should be wonderful
~Jonnie

I am old!!!!!

Every night I am so stinkin tired its not even healthy. Although I do smell nice and that should keep oh Val just called g2g ....

~Jonlyn

Oh... Yeah... I have to sign my name.. That last post was mine.
I'm losing it... Jennifer~

I hate it when I get this feeling...
Drives me crazy! Why can't I just get over it? ... Im so bad at getting over things.
Maybe one day it will actually happen... Maybe one day I will wake up and realize that its gone.. That would be nice.

Today was great!
church was good...
After that I kept Andrew, Ali, and Ethan... Had a blast with Ethan.He is too much fun! Andrew and Ali kind of did there own thing... with JT.. !
I think we (me and Jonlyn) are going to go get into some trouble or something... We have been good for a long time. I mean... its been like... all day! So I gotta go get started on that. I hope you all are having a great night! And for those of you that I know are not.. I hope it gets better really soon!

JONLYNS BACK!!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Jenn