Hello dear ones!
This is coming to you from the beautiful Destin FL.
I hope all is well with you!
Today was our first day of VBS.
It was pretty crazy... Jonlyn and I were supposed to be teaching 5-6 year olds. A few of them are that old. Most of them are 4 though- a little hard to hold their attention.. but they are precious!
Other then that not too much is going on around here- which is nice! I am not complaining. My papa has a boat- we went out on Sunday. Im sure there will be many more trips this week!
We will be on the water on the 4th so we will see the fire works from the boat. Im excited about that!
I miss you guys- Talk to you soon I hope!
Jenn
Monday, June 28, 2004
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Im home...
I had a very good day on Friday.
I had good moments during Saturday...
Last night was .. Well I cant talk about that.
But Im dealing with what I can. I suck at dealing- can I just say that?
One of these days I will feel it again.
That feeling I had when I was a little girl-
The feeling that everything is right in the world, that dreams come true,
and that I am safe. I have caught a glimpse of that feeling the past couple of months.
Now its being taken from my sight for a little while.
I hope with all my heart it comes back.
Jennifer.
I had a very good day on Friday.
I had good moments during Saturday...
Last night was .. Well I cant talk about that.
But Im dealing with what I can. I suck at dealing- can I just say that?
One of these days I will feel it again.
That feeling I had when I was a little girl-
The feeling that everything is right in the world, that dreams come true,
and that I am safe. I have caught a glimpse of that feeling the past couple of months.
Now its being taken from my sight for a little while.
I hope with all my heart it comes back.
Jennifer.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Hmmm..
I have been listening to our CD and there is a song on there (that is now playing) that my Mom and Dad sang together. Just the two of them. The plan was for us to come back and dub in our violins and maybe some vocals or something on top of it... But when we got back to the studio dad told us that danny(recording guy) thinks we should leave it the way it is. I was fine with that.. But my dad went on to say "He thinks you will really appreciate it when your Mom and I are gone." Gone? dead Gone?
I hate that thought.. So I said something stupid and quickly changed the subject.
Death is too real to me still.. it has been a while since someone i really loved has died. But in the past year i have lost many people some to death- but others to extremely different reasons. I guess I am at the point now where im afraid to hope. And that in its self scares me because thats just not the way I am.
One night last week I was feeling so hopeless. I didnt understand what God was doing. Or why He couldn't just make it better. Just fix it..
It was the night I got the news about Alisa. I was the only one home and as soon as I got here I got the phone to check and see if there was any news.. I wanted it to be on the voice mail so badly- But there was nothing.
In a few minutes the phone rang. And I knew who it was. It was my Grandmother- I knew that it wasn't good because she was making small talk and her voice was shaking kept asking if she was ok...and knew of course that she wasn't. And that If the news was good she would have said it much sooner. So she finally said "well I guess you know that we went to court for Alisa today" Yes.. I do and?? what happened Meme? "She is going to Ohio"
And my heart sank. She gave me some details. And we talked about how we just didn't understand. And then she told me to tell mom and be sure and give her a hug.
My parents got home and asked with so much hope in their eyes and voices-Any news?
I hated that moment.
I had to drive up to Ridge Haven that night. It was a very long drive... I had a great talk with God.. Painful.. but very good. I was crying I could hardly see- And after I had told Him everything that I wanted to (several times) He began to give me peace. He was bringing to mind all the blessings that I have... and I was thanking Him for them. He met me right where I needed to be met.. I was still crying and hurting and very confused.. but still the God of the universe met me.
My mind was flooded with people in my life that love me.. And when I was thanking Him for these people my family and one other person I stopped crying. It was really amazing to me. I got to ridge haven put on my happy face for a few people who had no idea what was going on.. then made a few phone calls that I needed to make..And went to sleep.. which was unexpected.
Im not so sure why i told you this.. I just need to talk about it I guess. And I NEED your prayers. My heart is still hurting and my hopes are crushed. If you made it this far thank you for caring enough to read this-
Jenn
I have been listening to our CD and there is a song on there (that is now playing) that my Mom and Dad sang together. Just the two of them. The plan was for us to come back and dub in our violins and maybe some vocals or something on top of it... But when we got back to the studio dad told us that danny(recording guy) thinks we should leave it the way it is. I was fine with that.. But my dad went on to say "He thinks you will really appreciate it when your Mom and I are gone." Gone? dead Gone?
I hate that thought.. So I said something stupid and quickly changed the subject.
Death is too real to me still.. it has been a while since someone i really loved has died. But in the past year i have lost many people some to death- but others to extremely different reasons. I guess I am at the point now where im afraid to hope. And that in its self scares me because thats just not the way I am.
One night last week I was feeling so hopeless. I didnt understand what God was doing. Or why He couldn't just make it better. Just fix it..
It was the night I got the news about Alisa. I was the only one home and as soon as I got here I got the phone to check and see if there was any news.. I wanted it to be on the voice mail so badly- But there was nothing.
In a few minutes the phone rang. And I knew who it was. It was my Grandmother- I knew that it wasn't good because she was making small talk and her voice was shaking kept asking if she was ok...and knew of course that she wasn't. And that If the news was good she would have said it much sooner. So she finally said "well I guess you know that we went to court for Alisa today" Yes.. I do and?? what happened Meme? "She is going to Ohio"
And my heart sank. She gave me some details. And we talked about how we just didn't understand. And then she told me to tell mom and be sure and give her a hug.
My parents got home and asked with so much hope in their eyes and voices-Any news?
I hated that moment.
I had to drive up to Ridge Haven that night. It was a very long drive... I had a great talk with God.. Painful.. but very good. I was crying I could hardly see- And after I had told Him everything that I wanted to (several times) He began to give me peace. He was bringing to mind all the blessings that I have... and I was thanking Him for them. He met me right where I needed to be met.. I was still crying and hurting and very confused.. but still the God of the universe met me.
My mind was flooded with people in my life that love me.. And when I was thanking Him for these people my family and one other person I stopped crying. It was really amazing to me. I got to ridge haven put on my happy face for a few people who had no idea what was going on.. then made a few phone calls that I needed to make..And went to sleep.. which was unexpected.
Im not so sure why i told you this.. I just need to talk about it I guess. And I NEED your prayers. My heart is still hurting and my hopes are crushed. If you made it this far thank you for caring enough to read this-
Jenn
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
BROWN EYED GIRL AND MY EYES FILL UP WITH TEARS
Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?
Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.
I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!
The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.
It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.
Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.
Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.
Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.
-Jonnie
Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?
Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.
I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!
The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.
It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.
Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.
Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.
Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.
-Jonnie
BROWN EYED GIRL AND MY EYES FILL UP WITH TEARS
Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?
Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.
I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!
The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.
It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.
Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.
Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.
Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.
-Jonnie
Do you wanta, wanta Fanta?
Hmmm ... Yes please I would like a fanta make it orange please.
Could you tell me why it made me smile? Could you tell me why I didn't cry?
I couldn't tell me either I wanted to. Cry that is, but I loved that momment to much.
I dont understand it! Why would any one ever buy a brand new LAP TOP and not let you check your email on it. Oh BLAST it makes me so mad for real I just looked at her like uhm,your joking,right? WRONG!
The rain fell soft today. I am not sure why though,but I know I enjoyed it.
Funny how everything seems to relate and a memmorie for every occassion.
* There should be another song to sing in the rain *
She said as I began the classic perhaps worn out song, singing in the rain.
I smiled and agreed, but there will never be a better way to dance in the rain.
NEVER.
It was wierd seeing the center girls at Ridge Haven last week. Oh yeah it wasn't a dream I really did go to a beuatiful place called Guanaja. I am glad we got that sraightend out God. Thanks.
Oh what a silly thing I am. Why God has chosen me to be his own I do not know. I dont have to know though I just like the idea of it.
Well I hope you have fallowed and if not its really ok. I am tired now so goodnight my friends.
Hyltons if you read this I love you muchly and I am praying for yall.
-Jonnie
Friday, June 11, 2004
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Thursday, June 03, 2004
To my dear friends,
I havn't posted for awhile things have been busy around the Linville house.
Do you ever get that feeling? You know the one where you are wishing you could be that person,if only for this one moment.
I don't know who it is for you,or perhaps it is never one certain person. You find yourself rewriting those past few mineuts just wishing you could turn the page back, white out that part of your script and then continue on with how it was "SUPPOSED" to happen.
Well I do and today I wanted so badly to be that unselfish person. that person who is all patiently loving you know that kind of person dont you?
Incase you were wondering I did NOT successfuly acomplish this.
AT ALL!
I have to help mom with grocery transpertation.
-Jonnie
I havn't posted for awhile things have been busy around the Linville house.
Do you ever get that feeling? You know the one where you are wishing you could be that person,if only for this one moment.
I don't know who it is for you,or perhaps it is never one certain person. You find yourself rewriting those past few mineuts just wishing you could turn the page back, white out that part of your script and then continue on with how it was "SUPPOSED" to happen.
Well I do and today I wanted so badly to be that unselfish person. that person who is all patiently loving you know that kind of person dont you?
Incase you were wondering I did NOT successfuly acomplish this.
AT ALL!
I have to help mom with grocery transpertation.
-Jonnie
It seams like I have been getting so much news lately-
It seams like the good news and the bad news never break even... but for now they are.
So I am able to keep smiling.
But knowing that one more bit of information in either direction could change everything causes a little stress. I can take it a lot longer when things come in equal amounts...
Im not feeling so good. But its nothing a nice shower and some of this warm sunshine can't take care of.
I am going to be keeping Ethan and Jt this Saturday- and Sunday morning. Well Jonlyn will be here some too but im hoping she won't give me too much trouble this time around.
Tonight I have pottery class. I know exactly what I want to make tonight. It is actually exactly what I have to make in order for things to go the way I have planed ( yes Ian, I have a plan) Usually I just sit down at my wheel and whatever the ball of clay ends up as is what I get. Its kind of exciting that way! Of course there are only so many things I can make... so Im never to surprised when I come out with another variation of a cylinder. Anways.. the point is that i have a goal. It will be interesting to see if I can accomplish it.
I hope your enjoying the day- Its time for me to go.
Jenn
It seams like the good news and the bad news never break even... but for now they are.
So I am able to keep smiling.
But knowing that one more bit of information in either direction could change everything causes a little stress. I can take it a lot longer when things come in equal amounts...
Im not feeling so good. But its nothing a nice shower and some of this warm sunshine can't take care of.
I am going to be keeping Ethan and Jt this Saturday- and Sunday morning. Well Jonlyn will be here some too but im hoping she won't give me too much trouble this time around.
Tonight I have pottery class. I know exactly what I want to make tonight. It is actually exactly what I have to make in order for things to go the way I have planed ( yes Ian, I have a plan) Usually I just sit down at my wheel and whatever the ball of clay ends up as is what I get. Its kind of exciting that way! Of course there are only so many things I can make... so Im never to surprised when I come out with another variation of a cylinder. Anways.. the point is that i have a goal. It will be interesting to see if I can accomplish it.
I hope your enjoying the day- Its time for me to go.
Jenn