AHHHH!!!! Today was such a blah day..one of those days that just stick with you.. until you scream.. or cry.. Or get to talk and laugh.. Thankfully I got by with the talking and laughing this time
. Its so confusing... How can this be? Why are you doing that... Be nice to him! Your always nice to them. Quit acting like you can't control yourself.. Get it together. Come back.. Be the girl that you always were! The one I used to trust with everything. Where did she go? I won't let you go....
And then there are the two of you.... What would I ever do without you?
Forever grateful!
I had to say goodbye to my girls today... I tried to explain to Tristen.. But I don't think she understood what i was saying. I guess she will on monday when I don't show up.. I hate that! I will see them soon though I hope!
I did get to do something that I really love doing today... Well this was the second best thing about my day... The very best thing I will keep for myself.
We (jt, jonlyn, dad me) went down to the pottery shop and played with clay... So Fun! Im going to start taking a class on it in may.. Im excited! Anyways... Im thinking I will make lots and lots of coffee mugs.. Yes I think thats what I will do!
Im all packed... Which is unusual.. Because its only 11:08 the night before we are leaving on a trip... Im very proud of myself. All though... Im not so sure what i packed. I iwll find out when I get there I guess.
After this Im home for the whole month of may... HOME! I love it here... I love you all! It was so nice Wed. night just sitting around in the grass... singing. Catching the smiles on your faces. Wonderful! Chip and Kelsey.. Its so wonderful to have you back! So nice to be with you!
When you see me again I will be 19.Don't hold it against me!.. I really feel like I just turned 18.. I think because I had my party so late last year..
.. It was a great one. though!
Im tired.. It seams like Im always tired these days though. I will have about a 7 hour drive tomorrow.. I love sleeping in the car. Ok... Thats it for me. Goodnight my friends... Have a wonderful week! I will see you next Sunday. Have fun!
Jenn~
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Josh: eww,I hope you didn't hyper extend your leg.I did that once and it hurt really bad.
Me: no, no I am fine I just need to sit here for a moment.
Emily: Are you ok ,can you stand up?
Me: yeah. I am fine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEXT DAY.
doctor: Well it looks like you have hyper extended your knee.
You cant run or play any sports for atleast 7 days. If you do the ligament that's extended could tare. Then you would have to have surgery.
Me: (thinking) BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Among other things,but you get the point.
Josh was right dangit.
Now I am off to W.V. and cant do much oh well.
I get to wear one of those ace bandages : )
This is gonna be hard,not runnig for 7 days?
-Jonnie
Me: no, no I am fine I just need to sit here for a moment.
Emily: Are you ok ,can you stand up?
Me: yeah. I am fine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEXT DAY.
doctor: Well it looks like you have hyper extended your knee.
You cant run or play any sports for atleast 7 days. If you do the ligament that's extended could tare. Then you would have to have surgery.
Me: (thinking) BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Among other things,but you get the point.
Josh was right dangit.
Now I am off to W.V. and cant do much oh well.
I get to wear one of those ace bandages : )
This is gonna be hard,not runnig for 7 days?
-Jonnie
Talking To My Self In The mirror?
So it began, I smiled and spun around,glanced back and then began to laugh.
I know it was silly, I felt like a little girl swinging my legs back and forth. I had short hair,crooked smile,no shoes,and I hadn't looked in the mirror for days.
That was a good feeling
I didn't let the reality kill my spirit last night,Don't ever want to let it again either.
NEVER!
It will come yes,but it hasn't yet,so I woln't let my self pull away from them.
I don't think it's in me though actually its not,God please put it there: )
I have to be on my way I have to pack. Going to the DR. today smile* I feel so stupid I don't want to go but I am afraid I will have to go see a W.V. DR. if I don't
My knee keeps coming out of place. I told it to stay in,but no response.
-jonnie
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Saturday, April 24, 2004
They don't get it!
I want to scream,and tell them, your blind!
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
He is gone,and you are just as venerable as he.What makes you the invincible ones?
Why are you so confident?
She is in front of you the one who brought him in. Why should you get to watch her let him leave.
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
You have no right to be here. Get away! You the one who helped it blossom,you the one who fed his treason,you who sold that sh*t,and I who sat back and watched.
His own brother infront of you sits,he left him his secrets the unspoken words he has kept so sacred.
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
Keep on going your life hasn't change. Yes he is gone, yes you love his poison,yes you are infected,and no you don't care.
Can you not see it?
He is dead..............
Do you not feel that.
Your dyeing..............
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was only 17 years old.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Jonlyn @ 11:42 P.M.
I want to scream,and tell them, your blind!
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
He is gone,and you are just as venerable as he.What makes you the invincible ones?
Why are you so confident?
She is in front of you the one who brought him in. Why should you get to watch her let him leave.
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
You have no right to be here. Get away! You the one who helped it blossom,you the one who fed his treason,you who sold that sh*t,and I who sat back and watched.
His own brother infront of you sits,he left him his secrets the unspoken words he has kept so sacred.
Can you not see it?
Do you not feel that?
Keep on going your life hasn't change. Yes he is gone, yes you love his poison,yes you are infected,and no you don't care.
Can you not see it?
He is dead..............
Do you not feel that.
Your dyeing..............
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was only 17 years old.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Jonlyn @ 11:42 P.M.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Short skirt, white shirt, toe rings,and flip flops... Sun in my face- wind in my hair. Eyes closed, my breath stolen away.. You on my mind.
For a few seconds I forgot I was driving.. muchless that I was driving a mini van!
Such summer bliss packed into those few seconds... It was wonderful! And in my imagination (with my eyes closed) You were there with me. And we had a wonderful time!
Jenn~
For a few seconds I forgot I was driving.. muchless that I was driving a mini van!
Such summer bliss packed into those few seconds... It was wonderful! And in my imagination (with my eyes closed) You were there with me. And we had a wonderful time!
Jenn~
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Watching it made me want it even more.
I always want it... But this time when it was infront of me I wanted it more then ever.
For now I will hang on to everything that I can. I will cherish every moment.
I grow more and more comfortable with the thought of it every day.
I need it more every day.
I miss it when its not there.
I miss it when it is. and there is only enough time to remember why i miss it somuch.
I am so grateful for it...So very very grateful. Thank you~
Jenn*
I always want it... But this time when it was infront of me I wanted it more then ever.
For now I will hang on to everything that I can. I will cherish every moment.
I grow more and more comfortable with the thought of it every day.
I need it more every day.
I miss it when its not there.
I miss it when it is. and there is only enough time to remember why i miss it somuch.
I am so grateful for it...So very very grateful. Thank you~
Jenn*
Monday, April 19, 2004
Hello all,
It is such a beuatifull day!!!!
I can't believe it,and I really want to go on a hike or a walk.
Maybe I will go pick some flowers. I wish jenn would get home she is more fun than me or atleast I get board of myself.
I did Valls hair for prom.Honestly it was pretty she was beuatifull like a princess.
I think if I could have done it over again I would do better. last year we got together and I did a practice run on her hair anyway it turned out pretty.
I cant say I didn't get a little down,I mean after all I have allways wanted to go to prom. Here I was for the third time helping someone else go. Dont get me wrong I love doing it I love fixing hair and makeup I have even thought of going into that one of these days,but anyway I found myself wishing it was me.
Then Mrs Ronda took me out that night,and I forgot all about it*smile
Gotta go to town with beth and garrett now.
Hope your day ROCKS ON FOREVER MORE!!!!
-Jonniep.s.unchecked
It is such a beuatifull day!!!!
I can't believe it,and I really want to go on a hike or a walk.
Maybe I will go pick some flowers. I wish jenn would get home she is more fun than me or atleast I get board of myself.
I did Valls hair for prom.Honestly it was pretty she was beuatifull like a princess.
I think if I could have done it over again I would do better. last year we got together and I did a practice run on her hair anyway it turned out pretty.
I cant say I didn't get a little down,I mean after all I have allways wanted to go to prom. Here I was for the third time helping someone else go. Dont get me wrong I love doing it I love fixing hair and makeup I have even thought of going into that one of these days,but anyway I found myself wishing it was me.
Then Mrs Ronda took me out that night,and I forgot all about it*smile
Gotta go to town with beth and garrett now.
Hope your day ROCKS ON FOREVER MORE!!!!
-Jonniep.s.unchecked
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Wow....
So many wonderful things have happened lately.. And for that I am thankful!
Im sure I am not as grateful as I should be. I wonder what that would feel like. To feel as grateful as I should. I wonder what it would feel like to do everything the way I should. Or to the fullest.. Maybe not the way I am supposed to.
I love "country" people.. I have been around a lot of them the past two days... They are so neat. They are very content with life- Almost always have a story to tell- They may not like you.. But if they don't you know it right away- None of this fake stuff. Hard working- Know how to have a great time- Love music and usually play it whether they are any good or not. Would die for their family.. Incredible people!
Finding joy in the small things...
Ok... Looks like I won't be going to massage school this fall.. More like the spring. I am kind of disappointed that I can't go sooner.. But this is the best choice so far. I will save quite a bit this way. And I am having to borrow the money from my parents well some of it atleast. And this is their first choice because of the discount.. So I cant really argue about it. But I guess it will be good. So... The plan is go ahead and get set up for school for Feb. 2005. Get through the summer and all the travels. Then get a really good job that pays incredible amounts of money to pay for school.. We will see.. That seams so far away!
I hope you guys had a blast playing four square.... Pretty dangerous sport... Especially when you throw in the loser dance.. Talk about hard core.. Someone is bound to twist a knee or something!
I think Im going to stop now.. Im really in the mood to talk so this could go on for a painfully long time. But It will stop now.
Jenn
So many wonderful things have happened lately.. And for that I am thankful!
Im sure I am not as grateful as I should be. I wonder what that would feel like. To feel as grateful as I should. I wonder what it would feel like to do everything the way I should. Or to the fullest.. Maybe not the way I am supposed to.
I love "country" people.. I have been around a lot of them the past two days... They are so neat. They are very content with life- Almost always have a story to tell- They may not like you.. But if they don't you know it right away- None of this fake stuff. Hard working- Know how to have a great time- Love music and usually play it whether they are any good or not. Would die for their family.. Incredible people!
Finding joy in the small things...
Ok... Looks like I won't be going to massage school this fall.. More like the spring. I am kind of disappointed that I can't go sooner.. But this is the best choice so far. I will save quite a bit this way. And I am having to borrow the money from my parents well some of it atleast. And this is their first choice because of the discount.. So I cant really argue about it. But I guess it will be good. So... The plan is go ahead and get set up for school for Feb. 2005. Get through the summer and all the travels. Then get a really good job that pays incredible amounts of money to pay for school.. We will see.. That seams so far away!
I hope you guys had a blast playing four square.... Pretty dangerous sport... Especially when you throw in the loser dance.. Talk about hard core.. Someone is bound to twist a knee or something!
I think Im going to stop now.. Im really in the mood to talk so this could go on for a painfully long time. But It will stop now.
Jenn
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Don't you hate it when things come out wrong.....?
There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.
You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.
Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!
The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.
I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.
Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.
So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.
SH*T
Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM
There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.
You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.
Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!
The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.
I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.
Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.
So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.
SH*T
Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM
Search for posts containing "SH*T":
[ Wed Apr 14, 07:58:36 PM | Jonlyn Linville | edit ]
Don't you hate it when things come out wrong.....?
There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.
You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.
Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!
The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.
I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.
Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.
So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.
SH*T
Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM
[ Wed Apr 14, 07:58:36 PM | Jonlyn Linville | edit ]
Don't you hate it when things come out wrong.....?
There is another thing I hate, perhaps I hate it even more than saying something wrong.
You know when you've been holding it back,and then you let it go. All spilling out into the open.
Now your expose you have no where to hide.You can't turn around and say oh just kidding,and you slowly realize you have no recollection of what you just said!
The words flash through your mind,but you can't really say it out loud, NO, who knows what they would think if you said that.
I know what they would think,I know what they would say.So what am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and move on. All because I know my own shallow,selfish,and evil schemes are reflected back at me in the eyes of this reality.
Tonight was different though,she was different. Her eyes reflected fear,question,uncertainness,and most of all they reflected Love.
So I opened my mouth and it happened ...About five minutes later I had no idea of all I had said.
SH*T
Posted bye -Jonnie 10:42 PM
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Monday, April 12, 2004
WOAH!!!! WOAH!!!
Driving to town with mom hmmm...
Alright sounds fun to me.
First stop the gasstaion,you know the one with the lowest prices on gas.
Pumping 9.50$, 9.90$, 10.00$ Stop.....
Mom fills out the check and I run inside to pay. Glancing to the car on my way in, I notice the lights are on. Pay, the check was approve and back to the car I went.
Hopping in I smile at Mom and say ok where next?
The post office she says.
Seat bealt ,break,turn key,and then it hit me,
The Honda has a week battery I left the lights on,and now I am sitting at the pump with people waiting for me to move.
BLAST!!!!
Then a Queen's auto service truck pulls in. ha what are the odds? He kindly jumped us off with his nifty little battery pack, and we were off to the post office.
apon pulling out of the gas station a brown saburban pulls out from across the street. I did something stupid at this point. I just glanced over at the dudes in it and was sitting in the turning lane when they started waving and saying stuff. I began to turn and then looked back to see what was up and then from the passenger side...
"Jonlyn !!!! what are you doing!!" I look back swurve and barely miss the curb.
Oh I cant believe I did that and with Mom in the car. I began to laugh at myself and the stupidity of my second glance.
After that things actually went smoothly,and Mom still let me drive.
Fun outing I must say.
~Jonnie
Driving to town with mom hmmm...
Alright sounds fun to me.
First stop the gasstaion,you know the one with the lowest prices on gas.
Pumping 9.50$, 9.90$, 10.00$ Stop.....
Mom fills out the check and I run inside to pay. Glancing to the car on my way in, I notice the lights are on. Pay, the check was approve and back to the car I went.
Hopping in I smile at Mom and say ok where next?
The post office she says.
Seat bealt ,break,turn key,and then it hit me,
The Honda has a week battery I left the lights on,and now I am sitting at the pump with people waiting for me to move.
BLAST!!!!
Then a Queen's auto service truck pulls in. ha what are the odds? He kindly jumped us off with his nifty little battery pack, and we were off to the post office.
apon pulling out of the gas station a brown saburban pulls out from across the street. I did something stupid at this point. I just glanced over at the dudes in it and was sitting in the turning lane when they started waving and saying stuff. I began to turn and then looked back to see what was up and then from the passenger side...
"Jonlyn !!!! what are you doing!!" I look back swurve and barely miss the curb.
Oh I cant believe I did that and with Mom in the car. I began to laugh at myself and the stupidity of my second glance.
After that things actually went smoothly,and Mom still let me drive.
Fun outing I must say.
~Jonnie
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Today was really wonderful... I can't stop smiling!
I had all my sisters with me... my nepews, my cousins.... It was really great...
Happy Easter guys.. I hope your day was as great as mine!
Jonlyn is off with our friends... having a good time... that makes me happy. I just got done talking to Ian.. That makes me happy... Theres some really good pie and cheese cake down stairs that makes me happy.. so im doing really good.
To top off the day i think i will go relax...
And then eventually drift off to sleep to music that makes me dream of my trip to mexico.. and all the wonderful things that come with it~ Sweet dreams to you~
Jenn...
I had all my sisters with me... my nepews, my cousins.... It was really great...
Happy Easter guys.. I hope your day was as great as mine!
Jonlyn is off with our friends... having a good time... that makes me happy. I just got done talking to Ian.. That makes me happy... Theres some really good pie and cheese cake down stairs that makes me happy.. so im doing really good.
To top off the day i think i will go relax...
And then eventually drift off to sleep to music that makes me dream of my trip to mexico.. and all the wonderful things that come with it~ Sweet dreams to you~
Jenn...
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Sleepy......
I will make no effort to correct this post because my eyes are drifting away in sleep as I type brain slows its not working....
She is gone SCREAM!!!!! I hate it so stinkin much,but I hope she like it atleast.
Emily I miss you so much.
I miss everyone,but I will see some of you tomarrow if you some to the 8:00 service that is.
Today hmmm... That was interesting,exciteing,and very tireing. A lot of driving,but a lot of fun.
week in VA. was awesome,besides the fact that yall couldn't go it rocked!!!!
Ok so now I am supposed to cut jenns hair wow something requiring a lot of thought Ok I hope it turns out good.
If not though just be nice and say you love her new hair cut. SHH****
And in your eyes yeah ok thats all for now..
Goodnight my friends dont hold this post against me haha night
n Jonlyn no I mean Jonnie totally unchecked!!!
I will make no effort to correct this post because my eyes are drifting away in sleep as I type brain slows its not working....
She is gone SCREAM!!!!! I hate it so stinkin much,but I hope she like it atleast.
Emily I miss you so much.
I miss everyone,but I will see some of you tomarrow if you some to the 8:00 service that is.
Today hmmm... That was interesting,exciteing,and very tireing. A lot of driving,but a lot of fun.
week in VA. was awesome,besides the fact that yall couldn't go it rocked!!!!
Ok so now I am supposed to cut jenns hair wow something requiring a lot of thought Ok I hope it turns out good.
If not though just be nice and say you love her new hair cut. SHH****
And in your eyes yeah ok thats all for now..
Goodnight my friends dont hold this post against me haha night
n Jonlyn no I mean Jonnie totally unchecked!!!