Maybe I need some inspiration before I write this...

I don't know about you, but for me in recent days inspiring things have been awfully hard to find.

And if I do succeed in this daunting search, and actually find the object that suddenly sparks some thing in my heart.

Some thing that begs for explanation, definition, or even recognition at the least, then suddenly, POOF it is gone.

Then I am left with this awful feeling of failure. I failed to capture it, that moment in time.

It was so close to being safe, until I jumped head first to catch it and fell empty handed on the floor, the dreadful floor.

However disappointing it is I must say that is all I have in me to write tonight. I have been avoiding these black keys. I know they can pull the truth out of me. The deepest truths. That scares me in times like these. I don't want you to know I am hurting, and doubting things I know I "should" know, but right now some things seem so fake, so unreal I can't explain it.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!!!

My heart just breaks to think of you there

In dark cold regret

residing with out a care

mostly with out a care for me

hard to let it slip

my life is

no I couldn't tell you that

simply let it be

with out a care

mostly with out a care for me

worry for your sake

but it won't

no it won't do any good

pity my existence

and I'll run away

don't you see you can't help

no you can't

-JRL