Ill be seeing you~

Things become more and more complicated as life goes on... Things i was sure of- yeah not so much anymore. Im not quite sure how i feel about this.
The aftergraduationlow hit me today. I miss my musical companion like crazy- and my dear lena-all of my wise, caring, compationate friends. Yes i did spend the day with these people yesterday. And no it is not even monday yet- even on a normal school schedule i would not have seen these people until tomorrow night.
I have said goodbye to a lot of people this past week. Some who i will be seeing on a regular basis.
Everytime i see you i remember that your gone. I struggle with this closure bit.
I don't like it- i want things to change but not people. I want stability there.
I have not found this- and yes i know thats not going to happen but i forget. I forget every time.

I can't believe im done. I am very happy for me.
This weekend i found out how they see me. Their words brought tears to my eyes. They get me..
When you spend 4 nights a week with people for 9 months they see you for who you are. Theres no getting around it. These people know me on a level that few people do outside of that class. Randje and I talked about this... Who truly knows you? is this possible? I think so. He gave me much to think about yesterday- i think he was trying to get in any last "lessons" that i hadn't heard from him- and going over the ones he thought to be important.
I have learned this year.
My little world has grown past its boundries. I have tasted enough to know what I crave.
I have just ran my finger tips over the water-leaving ripples that run through and touch every piece of me.
and it has left me wanting much.

This is the story of how we begin to remember
This is the powerful pulsing of love in the veins
After the dream of falling and calling your name out
These are the roots of rythm and the roots of rythm remain.

I do not know the steps ahead of me... but I am on a path- and it does have small stops-pauses-endings.
I have just passed through one of these. I can't see around the bend. What I can see are the people and expeirences of this past year that push me forward. The remembrance of beauty helps me to look ahead.
mmm... goodnight all. I love you and thank you for your suport through school. There is no way that yesterday would have happened without you.

*Paul Simon-grace land album/my gift from Randje.
Jenn~