Happy New Year?

I am sorry to say I kind of had a slightly happy new year, or some thing like it. What ever it was I know it was not a whole heartedly happy new year. I think I just have to greet it with smile and push on any ways.

Last night was very,well lets just say it reminded me of a lot of things. Big things and little things. Some of them I missed so deeply there was a sinking feeling in my stomach (I am sure you know the one) However, there were some I didn't miss at all and I was reminded of how much I really didn't miss them. Oh, I just can't seem to get past the ones I do miss though.

There was also there utterly disturbing realization that I have exactly 15 days to complete this horrible application. I will do it though,and I just need to stop waiting for motivation because I don't see any coming my way. Not any time soon. I mean I have things I am looking forward to really really looking forward too, but they aren't things I will get because I do well in school. You know? I hope you do. I am not trying to be confusing or illusive about any of this, but thinking about you reading this I just don't know if it will piece together. I hope it does.
I will leave with that little disclaimer. I hope you are having a whole heartedly happy new year I truly do

In an awkward stage -Jonlyn